Not Excitebike 2013

This game features all the worst tendencies of a commercial game studio releasing iOS games in 2013: unnecessary gatekeeping, convoluted menus, information overload, mindless, repetitive, marginally "fun" gameplay, and several IAPs for a game that already cost you money (to the studios credit, the IAPs actually feel optional).

If you see the screenshots and think this looks like Excitebike, dont be fooled. The game mostly requires you to tap things. Tap to jump (theres a delay) at specified times, tap the starting block to start, tap floating letters, tap obstacles to make them disappear. Sometimes you swipe, eg you swipe to duck and to do a wheelie or flip.

You wont have freedom of movement, though. You dont swipe to move into other lanes. You dont find new ways around the track. You dont try for cool jumps. This is the IV drip gaming weve come to expect from commercial studios: bite-sized levels that shuffle and reshuffle a few basic components and bite-sized upgrades. It wont occur to you that youre not having fun.

Tap tap tap tap.

Bamcquern about Joe Danger